Part SIX in this series --THE GREAT PORN PANDIMIC IS UPON US

There was a time in times past when the sexual imagery which generations in times past encountered  mainly consisted of a few  girly magazines which could be purchased from under the counter at the local convenience store. 

These images were fairly passive, but not anymore. The sexual imagery which now is flowing onto the laptops Iphones of today’s generation is hardcore and depicts abusive sexual acts few of us can even imagine, let alone want to try – and it is available at the click of a mouse in every EVERY HOME. 

Up until the past few years it was very easy to avoid items related to the so called "X rated"  porn lifestyle. For most of us our home was a sanctuary away from such temptations.    But with the advent of the internet porn the "X rated" lifestyle with all of its sights and sound, has now invaded our home space. 

With the advent of the internet age, no place is now safe from the porn epidemic that has enveloped our society.  The number one hot spot for this epidemic is our homes.    CLICK ON NEXT TAB BELOW

Those who view porn normally class themselves as fitting into one of several categories.  Some acknowledge that they have the capacity to watch porn and do so on an infrequent basis.   Others acknowledge that they have a tendency to visit porn sights, but don’t make it an all day thing.  There are some who acknowledge that the are addicted to watching porn, to the point of feeling helpless and overwhelmed. 

According to Christ, regardless of which category we place ourselves in, in the sight of God, there is no such thing as innocently watching porn.  As Christ explains,  “27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:  28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”  Matt 5:27-28. 

Today's younger generation find themselves struggling to come to terms with today's radical sexual landscape. while at the same time comprehending their own emerging sexual urges.  The over-exposure to a smorgasbord of sexual imagery which this generation is now deluged with only adds more sexual complexities to an already sexually chaotic landscape. 

The rapid increase in the exposure of explicit sexual situations, is leading to more and more confusion and frustration. A crisis center which deals with this matter, say they are noticing a marked increase in the volume of emails, which denotes desperate, sexual concerns and confusion. 

The operator of this site say they have lost count of the number of young women in their late teens and early 20s, who write in with the same concern.  They say their boyfriend and in many cases their husband, can't stop watching porn: 'Why does he watch porn so much when he's with me?'; 'How can I ever measure up to the women in porn?'; 'Why aren't I good enough?'; 'Is it normal to have pubic hair?"    
 

Girls really do think they're expected to look like life-sized Barbie dolls: long of limb, large of breast and with no body hair whatsoever. Young men too are beset by insecurities and misapprehensions, fueled by exposure to porn: 'My penis is too small compared to the ones I've seen on the internet, how can I get it enlarged?'; 'I want to watch my girlfriend have sex with my best friend. Is this a good idea?? 
 

The flood-gates of sexual information and misinformation, have not only been swung wide open, but have been ripped of the hinges, there is now no way to close them. This sudden and dramatic shift to the exposure of sexual imagery has left the various components of our society, who try to explain it all, (parents, churches, educational system, etc). Scrambling, in an attempt to explain to the younger generation, what it all means. 

Senior lecturer at RMIT Meagan Tyler says porn is increasingly seen as a "textbook" for sex and that's creating problems.  The sexual scenarios depicted in porn is viewed by many as being normal,  but it's not normal, we know it's not normal, it's completely manufactured," she says.  Tyler goes on to explain,  "Porn contains a lot of violence against women. It's terribly racist. If you look at mainstream porn, it's terribly misogynist.

"[Yet] pornography equals sex has become just such a cultural staple.”   Porn is full of people, particularly women, being disrespected, coerced, and physically and verbally abused, and that’s shaping how society thinks and acts.

And Dr Ashton says some people "turn off" their ethics and moral thoughts when they're engaged with porn.

Many today are not aware of the true impact, that content that they are consuming, and in many cases masturbating while watching is having on their sexual mindset and sexuality.

  For those who are viewing internet porn,  they are experiencing sexual pleasure, that's actually pairing their sexual identity to a electronic screen. Which is constantly reinforced with each encounter and arousal.  

Many today are indulging in sexual matters in ways which are contrary to God's guidelines.   Most who do so give little if any heed to God's instruction, and nor do they have any fear for the consequences of ignoring His instructions. 

People of every age now have easy visual access to every graphic sexual act imaginable, it's on our phones, our televisions, and our computers, it's everywhere. 
 

 Violence and abuse of every sort is depicted as being what women really crave.   Sexual activity with minors is portrayed as being ok, this portrayal craftily skirts the law, by using individuals who though they might be 18 years of age, appear to be no older than ten or twelve.   

Gang rape where women are penetrated through every cavity possible, is glorified as being the "in thing" to do. Indiscriminate sexual activity with any and everybody is portrayed as being the norm.  Even women having sex with animals, is portrayed as being the norm.  The list goes on and on.  CLICK ON NEXT TAB TO ADVANCE SLIDES BELOW

1. Porn, compared to real life sex, feels safer for some individuals. Porn is not so much a sexual experience as it is a fantasy experience where the porn viewer don’t have to think about the needs of another person, where they don’t have to risk being rejected. 

2. There’s an important neurological side to this as well.   For example a man builds up a habit in his life, he trained his brain how to respond sexually. The chemical vasopressin, which is released during sex in a man’s body, bonds a man to his sexual partner, but when he’s using porn, his brain isn’t bonding to a person but to a two-dimensional screen. 
 

Over time, as this becomes more ingrained, while he may want sex to turn him on, the neurological ruts in his brain are too deep and he find sex just doesn’t excite him as much as it used to. Some men even experience erectile dysfunction with their wives.  but with porn the plumbing works great.

That’s not because the problem is in the organ. The problem is in the brain. He gets surprised at how outrageous the scenes are. He feels like he’s one of the actors (whether male or female). He gets turned on by the forbidden or taboo sex he sees in the videos.  The sounds (the audio) can be provocative to him.

For many today, the Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out. 
 

Those who constantly watch porn find that it can easily become very addictive.   The reason porn/cybersex is so addictive boils down to several things, accessibility, control, and excitement.  Sex on line is available on thousand upon thousands of sex-related Internet sites.  This makes it easy to fall into an obsessive pattern of Internet use for sexual gratification. 

One can develop a sense of being in complete control of their world with no checks and balances as to what they say or do. With no one to see them a curious person can enter any of thousands of dominance and submission rooms, fetish rooms, bisexual rooms, rooms where homosexuality is on full display, etc. 

This uncensored buffet allows one to pick and choose anything they feel they want.  The Internet just happens to provide many of the things that ones unbridled sexual imagination craves all in one place:   Such as secrecy, fantasy material, endless variety, around-the-clock availability, instant accessibility, a rapid means of returning, and low or no cost.   One expert said one of main reasons why internet porn and addiction has sky-rocketed is because of the its three way appeal,  1. Accessibility, 2. Anonymity, 3. Affordability.

In times of stress,  rather than managing the problem or conflict, many are now more and more turning  to porn.  This is in turn causing many to become addicted to this process.   Addiction typically happens gradually. People may start watching porn more frequently and thinking about it more often. Suddenly, it seems, the behaviors and thoughts are difficult to stop.

They may feel depressed or guilty after watching it or masturbating and vow to stop the behaviors but find it too difficult. Thoughts about sex  and porn eventually becomes intrusive and interferes with work and relationships. Some people view it in inappropriate places, such as on the job or in school at church, etc.  

Constantly watching Porn causes the viewer to become  desensitized to “soft” pornography, and they continue to build a tolerance. Eventually, viewers of porn feel the need to view extremely graphic or taboo materials to become aroused. In some cases, they may start to act out the pornographic scenarios or seek sexually deviant experiences with others.

For many within the bonds of marriage, husbands who constantly view porn, in some cases prefer porn to their wives.  They find it much more gratifying to masturbate while watching porn.    In their now pornified mindset,  they prefer sexual fantasy over sexual reality.   Some experts say this is partly because there are no boundaries and no chances of rejection or criticism.

Up until recently it was assumed that excessive porn watching to the point of obsession/addiction, was a male dominated field.  But it is now coming to light that many women are now falling prey.  A Notable example being that of Oghosa Ovienrioba, who did a video on YouTube that went viral.  On this video she tells of her struggle with porn addiction,  Oghosa, who is from London, explains that she was just 14-years-old when her addiction began. 
 

She said: ‘It was out of curiosity and it was just a simple Google search for me to get hold of an adult movie. ‘When I first watched it, my reaction was shock. But gradually over time, that shock becomes excitement and I would use any porn that I could get my hands on.’ But soon her addiction began to spiral dangerously out of control. Oghosa said: ‘I was watching it so much that I started to get bored by the ‘normal’ soft porn movies.

‘I wasn’t getting the buzz that I felt when I first saw it – in fact I was almost desensitized to that content. ‘I went from watching soft pornography to dodgier stuff to get the kick I needed.’ Her addiction briefly stopped when she was 18 and had a six-month relationship with a boy. But when she started university and found herself single again, the downward spiral of her addiction recommenced.
 

She said: ‘I was at a university and alone in a new city. I guess it was a trigger and I just went downhill from there. ‘For a period of two to three years, I was watching porn on a daily basis and sometimes masturbating over six times per day. It was all I could think about. ‘I didn’t see people as people anymore – they were just sex objects to me.

‘The simplest things could set me off such as a girl unbuttoning her blouse or a boy taking his top off. Everything made me want more. ‘I would sit in my room alone for hours, with the lights off, watching porn. I felt lonely and ashamed of myself.’ When Oghosa turned 21, she found Christianity and knew it was time to confront her problem.

She posted a YouTube video in February 2014 in which she revealed her porn addiction to the world. She said: ‘When I read some of the comments on that video, it brings a tear to my eye. People have told me how alone they felt with their addiction until they saw my video.’

She explains, ‘Lots of people don’t think girls can suffer a porn addiction but it’s a problem for both sexes. I hope I can help others out there – talking about your problem is the first step.’

There was a time when the notion that a person could become a porn addict, was almost unheard of.  But thanks to the advent of the internet, this is no longer the case.    


With the ever increasing availability of pornography on the internet, a whole new generation of sex addicts are being produced, and in ever increasing numbers.  Sex addiction is characterized by persons using sexual stimulation and release to get a euphoria or high, then needing ever-greater doses. As with other addictions, addicts can suffer problems related to work performance, personal relationships, and the law.

The truth of the matter is pornography is now wrecking havoc in the lives of many people, on an unprecedented level.   Not only this, but today more than ever, the viewing of pornography plays a role in sexual addiction, the breaking up of marriages.  It is also greatly contributing to the spiritual downfall of believers. 

There is a certain pattern that those who become addicted to porn typically follow.  The pattern proceeds as follows, we view pornography, which seduces us, and causes us to fantasize, which leads to our pursuit of these fantasies, which in most cases gives us temporary pleasure, which leads to bondage, and if not repented of will ends in eternal death. 

  Many have unwittingly become enslaved to compulsive sexual behavior.  Thus that which initially began as the pursuit of a little sexual pleasure, “just having a little fun” or “satisfying normal urges,” gradually lures men and women deeper and deeper into the mire of bondage. 

The mistake many addict make, is at the moment they realize, the negative impact the pursuit of their  addiction is having on them, instead of concluding they need more of God, they tragically conclude the opposite (they need more of the source of their addiction).  Most addicts think if they can get more from the source of their addiction, this will some how fix what’s wrong with them. 

Therefore overcoming the feeling of disappointment, he falls immediately into a deeper depth. Then he explains his feelings in the opposite way: disappointed not because he has already drank too deeply from the cup of sin, but not deeply enough. He acknowledges his disappointment (having not attained real peace and fulfillment), but he fancies that greater boldness in sin will remedy this.

And so comes the turning-point. When the fearful thought is once conceived and admitted, and the heart's demon-like desire has sprung up deeply and systematically to revel in sin's pleasures, then he is lost.  Then "the vain imagination and darkening of a foolish heart "Is added to being "Given over to a reprobate mind." Then the spirit of slumber takes possession of him.

He can no longer discern the real cause of his dissatisfaction and disappointment. Sin intoxicates him more and more. And the more he indulges the greater his blindness for the consequences. Things lose their forms. The phenomenal take the place of the real. He has eyes, but not for the real and the true; ears, but not for the voice of the eternal Speaker. And so he rushes on from one sin to another; dissatisfied with sin, yet thirsting after more.

The bondage of being in a state of denial-- In coming to God, we must be willing to confess our shortcomings.  "Take words with you, And return to the LORD. Say to Him, “Take away all iniquity; Receive us graciously, For we will offer the sacrifices of our lips."  Hos 14:6. 

 In the words of one addict, in order for him to be delivered he had to first deal with the fact he was in denial of the fact he had a real addiction problem.  In his own words, he said  "Getting through denial took me a good while. I always thought I could control my cravings and conduct. 

I simply could not or would not admit that my the pursuit of gratifying these sexual urges actually controlled me. I had to hit rock bottom and almost lose everything before I was ready to admit that I had a problem.  Not only this I had to get to the point, where I not only sought help from others, but most importantly I asked God to help me.   

All before I was in total flight from reality, with  one of the main main symptoms being, staying in a state of denial.  I agressivly sought to ignore the truth,  when defining the true impact this addiction was having on me, (my well being and my very sanity).  To all who are in the palce, I once was, until God delivered me, I tell you the following.    If you truly know that your  porn watching andsexual conduct, is making you unhappy and is robbing you of a meaningful life,  yet you maintain that it's not all that bad, you are in a state of denial.  And are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. 

Making excuses in order to justify your disappointing and bad sexual misconduct and behavior will keep you trapped in bondage and alienated away from God. Denial of ones state and condition  is A huge symptom of sexual addiction.  This is especially true,  if the excuses you produce do not line up with the facts and are unrealistic. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort when you seek to end your sexual misconduct, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored. 

Many times one the biggest hurtles to overcome in being delivered from bondage is the hurtle of denial.  Failure to see that a problem exists can be just as devastating as the addiction. When we are in denial we are blind to the extent, or severity, that the addiction wreaks on our every day life. We fail to see the connection between the addiction and our pain and suffering and we don't seek the help we need. Denial can be very damaging! It impairs our judgment resulting in self-delusion.

Denial prevents us from understanding the implications and consequences associated with our addiction. Some people use denial in every situation in their lives. "I don’t see anything wrong with the my conduct,  it is simply a way I cope with day to life”. This is one form of denial. The sad thing about denial is it can mirror itself. When denial sees denial, it denies it. That's why getting past denial is tricky...it requires tons of willingness, mountains of open-mindedness, and shiploads of humility.
 

TO GO TO PART SEVEN IN THIS SERIES---THE IMPACT PORN IS HAVING ON THE MARITAL BED---CLICK ON IMAGE BELOW