A major hurtle today that many of us on our journey to the place of self understanding, must overcome, is the fact that we actually think that we are smarter than God, *(even if you never admit it).   As long as you tenaciously embrace this image of yourself, you will be greatly hindered on your quest to reach the place of true self understanding. Perhaps it's because we live in such a technologically advanced world, in comparison yo our predecessors, that many of us take this to mean than our technology and ability to comprehend, makes God irrelevant.  Maybe in our mind we secretly want to toss out God because that means tossing out his rules. Then we can do whatever we want, with no consequences.  Our self induced illusion that we're smarter than God is having a profoundly tragic impact on our society today. Singles in their 20s and 30s, raised in the computer age, may consider God hopelessly primitive and antiquated.   Yet the one who many think that they are smarter than, (God almighty), told us in advance thousands of years ago, that our knowledge would dramatically increase.  *This was foretold in the Bible, (the book many intellectuals view as irrelevant). Not only did God tell us that knowledge would dramatically increase, but he also warns that this increase in knowledge, would be a major sign that the time of the end us near. "But you, Daniel,  shut up the words, and seal the book  UNTIL the time of the end  many shall run to and fro and knowledge shall increase. Dan 12:4. In order for your journey to the place of self understanding to be a success, we must deal with that part of you which thinks that it's smarter than God.  This mindset is in all of us rather we acknowledge or realize it or not.  (At first I did not fully realize I was walking in this attitude).  The apostle Paul mentioned the part of us, to which the things of God,  (the things we must do to find life and true fulfillment),  seem stupid, irrelevant and at times outright crazy.  Paul even gave this part of you and I a name.   Paul calls this part of us,  "the natural man."  Compare what Paul said about, this person who lives in us all, 14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.  1st Cor 2:14.  In the next clip below we list some of the most common aspects of ourselves (the natural man), that we may consider smarter than God. We will call these "the different smart me's."  These mindsets normally are in us all, in varying degrees.  The age at which these mindsets began to develop in us also vary.   PLEASE CLICK ON THE NEXT TAB BUTTON TO ADVANCE THE SLIDES BELOW.

We all have a tendency to gravitate toward the things which looks good, feels good, and makes us look good.  Because of this tendency we often find ourselves at odds with God.  This stems from the fact that he has our best interest at heart, and knows what's best for us.  You and I are also in a battle for our lives.  Not our physical life; it's for our "forever life."  It is therefore critical that we know who our enemies are, and where this battle is being waged (I admit, there was a time in my life when I did not know this).   On one side there's the real you (the inner you), and your greatest needs (as defined by God).  Included in these needs are you need for, self understanding, fulfillment, and a right relationship with Him. On the other side are your two main enemies. The first foe is you!! Or should we say your mind.  Why your own mind?  Because your mind seeks to convince you, (as my mind did me) that your main purpose in life is to obtain by possessions or position, whatever, looks good, feels good, and makes you look good. Your other foe, (who actually seeks to convince you that you'e right to think this way) is the great manipulator of the mind, Satan: who is also the most brilliant strategist of all time. In fact he's so brilliant, that he has convinced the minds of most people that he really does not even exist. (Perhaps he's convinced you).  Please keep in mind that the you I speak of is, who is in this battle, is not the physical you that everyone sees.  The you whom I speak of is the real you, the inner you.  What complicates the battle that you are in, stems from the fact that, the inner you who is in this battle, has to fight in hostile territory, your on mind.  It is Gods will that we pull down the strongholds which are entrenched in our minds.  What are the strongholds?  you ask.  Anton Bosch tells us, "These strongholds are habits, thought patterns and complexes that have been built in our mind over many years. They are built one thought at a time and become very powerful as they dominate the landscape of our thinking and feelings. The world and its systems continue to build forts in our lives through a constant stream of thoughts, ideas and arguments that infiltrate our minds through the gates of our senses, primarily our eyes and ears. We will never win the battle against these strongholds until we stop the flow of misinformation to our minds. Our arguments against God's will, His Word become so fortified in our minds that nothing short of a miracle will be able to penetrate it with the truth. It is often over years of self-justification and rationalizing that these strongholds are built, stone by stone, argument by argument until it is a fortress behind which we hide from God and our responsibilities."   It is God's will that we reach the place of self understanding, obtain true fulfillment, and salvation.  As I began my journey,  I did not initially grasp the link between the three. 

So just how does a person cut through all the mind clutter and get to the truth?  I found the answer to this question on a Tuesday night at about 11:30 pm, on May 21st, 1974. Looking back at many of the things I encountered before that night, I can clearly see how easy it is to be honestly confused.  Even so today many are confused when it comes to,   1. Who they are, (self understanding).  2. How to obtain real peace of mind,  (fulfillment)  and 3. What constitutes a right relationship with God, (salvation).    I well remember the mind battles I encountered (prior to May 21st 1974), as I sought to grasp who I was,  how to fulfill me, and function in my version of salvation.  I also remember how energetically I pursued, the things (all things, anything),  in this life I thought would bring fulfillment.  And even though I believed that there was a God, with whom I sought a casual relationship,  I was not yet ready or willing to let him be control, (I fought tenaciously to maintain control).  I tried many things and many ways, on my journey to self understanding, to grasp me and my real purpose in life. Little did I realize, that in midst of my struggles, that God already had plans for me which were leading me toward the place of true self understanding.  As I began my journey to self understanding in earnest, there were several key  things I set out to do.  #1. I sought to understand me and my purpose on this earth.  #2. I sought to obtain  joy, peace, and fulfillment, in life, and #3. I sought to have a relationship with God, on a some what limited bases, (called on my terms). So there I was as a young person,  seeking fulfillment, peace and happiness, while at the same time, to a very limited degree, acknowledging God, (as I perceived him to be in my mind). *Perhaps you are now at this same stage, on your journey.  Society is looking for people who have arrived. We value people by their appearance, their intelligence, their talent, their athletic ability and their wealth.  Yet when God defines us, God goes much deeper into who we are, than our possessions, outward appearance and abilities. God knows us inside and out, he knows our greatest needs, He also sees all of our conduct,  knows our true character, and fully grasp our true state of being. God has many things and situations, (others witnessing to us, conviction, signs, etc), to continually reveal to us the truth about our 1. conduct, 2. our character, and 3. our state of being.  If only we would pay attention to what he is showing us about ourselves. 

It was my desire in life to find fulfillment, but I also realized that somewhere our there, there was a God.  Thus I sought to find fulfillment in life, while at the same time appeasing, this God with some degree of religious tokenism (moral conduct, occasional church attendance, etc). In my mind I set out on my quest for self understanding, to find fulfillment, and just to be on the safe said I invited God to tag along.  I tried many things in my attempt to find rest, peace, and fulfillment, but each attempt only led to more frustration. Then I came up with this brilliant idea, that the problem was, that I did not have enough of the things I thought would bring me fulfillment, (sex, money, good times, etc). So I pursued these things even harder, which led to even more despair, which at times bordered on depression. I then concluded, that what was missing was, the fact that although I had invited God to tag along, on my quest, I now needed to allow him to be a little more involved in my life.  At this point in my life I re-invited God in my life, I redid what is commonly known as the accept Christ my personal savior routine. Thus in my mind I was set, I was now saved, on a higher level than the other time (or times) that I had accepted Christ.  (and I was still in control).    Instead of having inner peace, with this setup,  the inner struggle only intensified.  On one side there was the inner me screaming out at me, asking where was the fulfillment and peace, I promised myself I would obtain, on this quest, On another side there was my mind telling me that I was saved, while at the same time, nagging inner questions about my so called salvation lingered.  While yet on the other side there was a still small voice telling me that there was still something missing, and there was a better way.  But how could there be this inner struggle??? I was doing the things which were supposed to give me fulfillment.  And to be on the safe side, I had prayed the sinner's prayer and re-accepted Christ. So there I was facing an inner struggle, On one side there were the thoughts in my mind, which  sought to convince me that I was saved.  On the other side was a still small voice which kept telling me that was something was missing. In my mind I desperately sought to walk in and embrace this type of salvation. For most people this is the type of salvation they have embraced, they told themselves that they were saved or someone else told them, (for some it was the combination of both).  I would often ask myself if this was all there was to being born again, why was this still small voice constantly telling me otherwise??                   PLEASE CLICK ON THE NEXT TAB BUTTON TO ADVANCE THE SLIDES BELOW.

I found myself more and more struggling in the areas of self understanding, finding true fulfillment, and functioning in the salvation I had claimed by faith.  As far as finding fulfillment I kept promising myself that it was in the next high, party, woman etc. always the next.  As far as my salvation was concerned, during this time I relied heavily on the teachings of those whom I felt were the experts, in the area of salvation.  I especially hung on the words of those who I viewed as being the religious giants of my day.  To me Billy Graham was on the top of this list.  I read something he had written, which my mind took great comfort in, (for a little while anyway).  He said that a person does not have to remember a time in my life when God told me I was saved.  The religious leaders of my day (such as Billy Graham) assured me that as long as I had had accepted Christ I was ok. In my mind I desperately sought to walk in and embrace this type of salvation.  During this time I really struggled to understand myself. Instead of having inner peace, the struggle was intensifying.  On one side there was the inner me stilling screaming out at me, asking where was the fulfillment and peace, I promised myself I would obtain, on this quest. While yet on the other side there was still small voice telling me that there was still something missing, and there was a better way.  But how could there be this inner struggle???   THE NEXT SET OF CLIPS BELOW, SHOWS YOU WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH (THE VICIOUS CIRCLE).  I PURPOSELY  DON'T TELL YOU WHERE THEY END. THIS IS SYMBOLIC OF THE FACT THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU A SIMULAR CHOICE, IT'S UP TO YOU.  (COMPARE THE CLIPS BELOW).   CLICK THE NEXT BUTTON TO ADVANCE

The struggle I went through was very intense; at times I felt that Satan was trying to rob me of my joy and my salvation. But on May 21st 1974 I came to the point where I asked myself, "what joy and what salvation??"  When I looked back in my life, I could remember accepting the Lord, but I could not remember him telling me he had accepted me. I could remember going back and re-reading his word for assurance that he had accepted me, (John 3:16, was a key verse).  Yet in spite of believing it and reading it, I finally began to understand, what had been troubling me inwardly all this time.  It finally became clear to me what this small still voice was trying to get me to see.  I had the testimony from myself and from others that I was saved, but God had never told me personally.  I was trying to live a saved lifestyle, without God ever saving me.  Everyone else had told me that I was saved, but I had not heard it from God himself.  (Perhaps this is what that still small voice is trying to tell you).   The weight of this knowledge became to heavy for me to bare, on May 21st 1974. Therefore at about 11:15 PM I fell on my knees in my dark room living room, and cried out to God, with everything in me.  I told him that in spite of the fact that my mind was telling me I was saved I did not know him, and had never met him.  

THE HARDEST THING FOR US TO SEE IS OURSELF

The problem for many of us is we may not want to really see the real us,  (many hide from themselves in a religion), God seeks to show us to ourselves.  We all have a inner comfort zone, were we console ourselves against the rigors and hardships of life.  Within this inner comfort zone, we seek to convince ourselves that we are not all that bad, no worse than anyone else.  We seek to convince ourselves that the choices we have made in life are not to awfully bad, all things considered.  The truths of God often invades this inner comfort zone, in our mind, and seeks to show us our true inner selves. It is impossible for a person to ever reach the place of self understanding, without a willingness on their part, to look without flinching, at the true nature of their conduct,  their character, and their state of being, AS GOD WOULD HAVE THEM TO SEE THEMSELVES.  It was then I realized why nothing had happened:  Nothing had yet happened, because when it came to my conduct, my character, and my true state of being,  (the real me), I had not fully been honest with God or myself, (even though I thought I had).  I had to take a hard open look at me, in a way I had not yet fully done.  (perhaps that's been your problem as well).   At that very moment it was as if a bright light had clicked on, on the inside of me, and for the first time I saw and understood me,  THE REAL ME!!!!   I saw my conduct as truly being sinful,  I saw my true character, I was a sinner, and I saw my true state of being,  I was lost and on my way to hell.   I began to tell God the truth about the person I had just discovered in me, (the real me).  But as I began to tell Him about the ugliness of the real me, (I had finally arrived at the place of true self understanding), God began to show me the real meaning of Christ on the cross.  It was at that very moment that the ugliness of the real me, came face to face with the beauty of him hanging on the cross, for me, WOW!!!!!.  It was then that I realized, that this very person I had just come to know,  (the real inner me) was the same person God knew  all along.  In fact this was the person he really loved, and who Christ died on the cross for, WOW!!!. At that moment at the cross of Christ I finally understood the real me, and how much Christ loved the real me.