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THE GIFT OF HUMAN SEXUALITY
COPING WITH BURNING SEXUAL DESIRES
THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRIAGE
THE MALE FEMALE SEX DRIVE
THE IMPACT OF PORN ON MARRIAGES
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
THE GREAT PORN PANDEMIC IS UPON US
OVERCOMING PORN ADDICTION
DELAYING MARRIAGE, THE TRUE COST FOR MANY WOMEN
The my baby's daddy syndrome
VIOLENT FAITH
COPING WITH SICKNESS/SUFFERING VIA OUR FAITH
SICKNESS AS IT RELATES TO OUR FAITH
A BALANCED EXPECTATION OF GOD
THE IMPACT OF PAIN AND SUFFERING ON FAITH
HOW TO OBTAIN TRUE CONTENTMENT PART #1
DIVORCE REMARRIAGE AND BEYOUND
BY BIRTH OR BY CHOICE?  A TRUE STORY OF DELIVERANCE
When God gives up part one
When God Gives Up part two
GIVING RISE TO THE BEST
THE MARK OF THE BEAST?? ARE THERE SIGNS?
OVERCOMING-LOVE, SEX, AND ROMANCE ADDICTION
YOUNG AND COPING, in the days of youth
THE KINGDOM
Divorce Remarriage And Beyond Part 2
THE #1 PROBLEM NO FEAR OF GOD
BEING A SOUL SURVIVOR #2
PART #2 THE MIND A JOURNEY MY STORY
REMEMBER GOD IN THE DAZE OF YOUTH
LOVING GOD FIRST, LOVING OTHERS,  GETTING A RIGHT BALANCE
TRUE DELIVERANCE IN THE CRITICAL AREAS
BY BIRTH OR BY CHOICE?
THE SALVATION CONSPIRACY
THE MIND A JOURNEY TO SELF UNDERSTANDING
THE MIND A JOURNEY TO SELF UNDERSTANDING
HOW TO OBTAIN TRUE CONTENTMENT #2
THE GREAT REBELLION

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SEXUAL ADDICTION, There are those who develop a lifestyle of a strong dependency on the euphoria of sexual arousal accompanied by the pursuit of the sexual gratification of this arousal.  They literally become addicted to the "high" associated with sexual activity just as others become addicted to the euphoria of alcohol or drugs.    

When people over-emphasize the importance of the euphoria of sexual arousal (increased sexual desire) in their lives, it begins to dictate a lifestyle to them, and they become obsessed with thoughts of sex. Eventually they lose control of how often, with whom, and under what circumstances they will engage in sexual activities.  

Thus their lives becomes and endless cycle of viewing pornography, masturbating, soliciting prostitutes, etc,   they become enslaved to compulsive sexual behavior. What begins as "just having a little fun" or "satisfying normal urges," gradually lures them deeper and deeper into the mire of bondage. Dr. Victor Kline, a clinical psychologist at the University of Utah, has interviewed and treated over 200 sex offenders.

He released a study describing the four-step process of a person's addiction to pornography.  These steps are also applicable, to the development of other forms of sexual addictions. #1. ADDICTION, #2. ESCALATION, #3. DESENSITIZATION, AND #4. ACTING OUT SEXUALLY.  We will therefore look at the general developmental process of sexual addiction, while in each of these categories also look at one of the most documented forms of sexual addiction (addiction to pornography).  

There are many today within the marital bond, who are having problems with sexual compulsion that they never would have had, if it hadn't been for the internet.   The internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many.  Many men, some of whom have become addicted to internet porn, spend increasing amounts of time surfing the net for sexual material, downloading porn and repeatedly using these images for sexual gratification. This is also now causing many to become addicted to constant masturbation.


The reason cybersex is so addictive boils down to accessibility, control and excitement.  Sex on line is available on thousands upon thousands of sex-related internet sites.  This makes it easy to fall into an obsessive pattern of internet use for sexual gratification.  One can develop a sense of being in complete control of their world with no checks and balances. Today sexual intercourse of every type and description (and some which defies description) is available for all to see. 

 

With no one to see them, a curious person can enter any of thousands of dominance and submission rooms, fetish rooms, bisexual rooms, rooms where oral, anal, and beastly sex is on full display.  This uncensored buffet allows one to pick and choose anything they feel they want. How can the marital bed of those who continually expose themselves to this sexual onslaught not be adversely affected?  
 

Although it is not the only source, for those who sexually fantasize, the internet has seemingly overnight become one of the main resources chosen by many today. One expert said one of the main reasons why internet porn use and has skyrocketed is because of the its three way appeal; 1. Accessibility, 2. Anonymity, 3. Affordability.

ADDICTED,  Paul noted the fact that acting out sexually in ways which are contrary to God's guidelines, if not repented of, would hinder our entrance into God's kingdom.  Paul also noted that many of the believers whom God saved were delivered from these forms of sexual misconduct. 


Paul then noted that though they had been delivered, they should proceed with caution, least they (thinking that they are at liberty to do as they please, return back to these things.  Paul stated the fact that though there were certain things he was at liberty to do, there were things that was best avoided.   Paul warned those who were perhaps contemplating indulging in certain questionable actions, that to do so would once again lead to addiction, bondage, and dispair.   

"9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be  brought under the power of any.  1st Cor 6:9-12.  

Unfortunately many believers have indulged it modes of conduct which has led them back to the place of addiction, bondage, and dispair.  

The generally agreed upon psychological definition of an Internet sexual addict is someone who compulsively goes online for sexual gratification, often to the point of losing jobs and relationships with loved ones. Everyone is aware that it is easy to become addicted to cocaine or heroin.


But how about pornography? Researchers have made that startling new discovery, and a group of counselors and therapists is warning this addiction may soon become an epidemic. Pornography may be the new addiction of this new century.  It's not only the sexual arousal which pornography causes which has such a powerful draw, but it's also the chemical changes which take place in the body.  

Researchers are finding that when people indulge in porn, they release powerful chemicals in their brain and body.   One researcher who has been researching and writing about porn addictions for a number of years, as well as training pastors and counselors on how to deal with it,  explained that, when people view porn, "It causes the brain to release what we call endogenous drugs or endogenous chemicals.
 

'Endogenous' meaning 'produced from within.' So where cocaine or alcohol  seek to mimic the brain's natural chemicals, pornography releases the real deal.  Now suddenly you have a little mouse where you hit a button, and instantly you get this flood of brain chemicals. Many who have gotten involved with porn were not even aware that these chemical reactions were taking place in their bodies; all they know is that viewing porn has an intoxicating affect.

This is a true testimony of a pastor who became addicted to porn--- As a  pastor I found myself in the unthinkable. I was hooked on internet porn. Despite a guilt-ridden conscience, I tumbled silently through a cycle of shame, repentance, and broken vows. Seasons of apparent victory collapsed in times of stress, when the comfort of habit proved too difficult for me to resist.

I often preached on sexual purity, and warned against the woes of pornography, with my own bondage to it undetected.  I compartmentalized it in my mind, I rationalized. I minimized.  I would stop, with the porn, while preaching and teaching on it.   After abstaining from it and fervently preaching against it,  I would reward myself, with a good dose of it, for doing such a good job of  preaching against it and abstaining from it.   I can't go like this it's too much to bare. 

This brother is not alone; many who are reading this are Christians including many ministers, who have gotten caught up in sexually addictive behavior.  If this is the case with you, and the shame and despair you are experiencing, has caused you to be on the verge of giving up, hold on please don't give up there is hope.  
 

God has a way of breaking the addictive chains that bind you. King David gave a very powerful testimony of how God brought him up out of the miry clay of sinful bondage and completely set him free, 1 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. 2  He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. 3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.  Psalm 40:1-3 .  There is a way out!!!

PORN----A UNREALISTIC VIEW OF SEX 

1. Pornographers know the more common positions used for intercourse do not film well, so porn is full of strange and impossible positions. After constant exposure to these strange and impossible sexual positions, some young men (even after marriage), began to believe that these unnatural positions are needed in order to have normal sex (which is not true).

2. Pornographers know a lot of action and movement is more arousing (on the porn video) than soft, slow, gentle sex, so only the fast and hard kind is shown.  Thus continual hard thrusting is projected as being the norm, which in real sex is not often the case,  Each couple in marriage should find what works for them.

3. In porn,  female orgasms are accompanied by an exaggerated amount of screaming and thrashing.  This is not always the case, a woman will often have pleasurable orgasms without much fanfare.
 
4. In porn videos the women do not need foreplay -  they are hot and ready by the time their head hits the pillow, or they need only a few seconds of stimulation.   Thus the false assumption develops that a real woman is only a breath away from being in heat, 247-365.  Most wives enjoy being courted, not just slammed on a bed, for sex.

5. In porn, truly sexy women are insatiable.   They repeatedly have orgasms and they are so desperate for sex they will do anything with anyone.  They want sex via every opening (through either vaginal, oral, or anal means). They want all types of foreign objects thrust into their vaginas, and they want intercourse in every position imaginable (you can flip them around like pancakes)  and it's never painful or too uncomfortable for them.   Many young men have bought into the porn lie, at the hurt, frustration, and discomfort of many young women (http://www.themarriagebed.com/ )

There has been a dramatic change in the sexual landscape--  God in his perfect wisdom and knowledge of the future, knew in advance what would come with the increase in man's knowledge.  It was for this reason at the tower of Babel, God purposely slowed down the advancement of the  increase in knowledge, until the time of the end. 
 

The advent of the world of electronic media has changed the sexual landscape in ways, which just a few short years ago would have not been imaginable.  Exposure to sexual imagery is not new, but the development of the internet has contributed to a marked shift towards more extreme and more violent sexual imagery.  

 The sexual reality today is that the sexual flood-gates have been ripped off the hinges.   Sexual images and acts of every description and some which defy description, are readily available on the internet. These are more than just sounds and pictures on a screen.

They are images that are ripe with meanings about men and women, what they like and about how they ought to treat each other. They are images that have lasting impact on the perceptions, attitudes and behavior of the individuals which are viewing them. The exposure of young people to pornography, including violent pornography, is particularly disturbing.

  Marcia Segelstein says, "Most people probably don't picture kids when they think about who is viewing pornography.  But according to statistics cited by the non-profit advocacy organization Enough Is Enough, the largest group of viewers of Internet pornography is children between the ages of 12 and 17.  And there's more. 
 

The average age of first exposure to Internet pornography is 11.  Eighty percent of 15- to 17-year-olds have had multiple exposures to hardcore pornography.  Nine out of ten children between the ages of 8 and 16 with Internet access have viewed pornographic websites, sometimes inadvertently in the course of looking up information for homework. Scary stuff.  Many marriages are being profoundly affected by the violative sexual landscape we as a society now face.

He'll get physical with you and imagine he's with the women he sees in porn. Therefore  he's not making love with you, he's masturbating with your body.  He'll have unrealistic expectations of what you'll do. The women in porn movies do whatever whenever, and have no sexual expectations of their own.


Therefore in time he will expects you to have no sexual expectations of your own.  You will never be able to compete with the porn girls. In his eyes, there is "dreamland" on the computer and  in strip clubs, and “oh well, she will have to
do " (meaning you) laying in bed next to him.

SEXUAL REALITY-THE FLOOD-GATES HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF THE HINGES    According to Dr Peter Hammond,  "One of the most serious threats to our younger generation comes through the entertainment industry. Superficial, sensational and immoral material predominates in the modern entertainment industry and it is producing an increasingly superficial, selfish, mindless and immoral society. 

Television,  Ipods,  mobile phone screens, and the Internet are filling the void in the aimless and meaningless lives of all too many young people.   Due to all this graphic exposure, the young generation today is exhibiting  a marked increase in the interest and participatory level of sexual issues,  at a much earlier age.

 The younger generation is crying out for sexual answers, our response must not be panicked silence. Sex education in schools is insufficient, claimed Anna Martinez, head of a Sex Education Forum. She said: "Young people continue to tell us that there is a big gap between the sex education they need and the sex education they are getting in school, church, and from their parents. 

The younger generation is being taught a version of what sex looks like, and sounds like, its weird, violent, without restraints, and extremes, Parents and the church cannot ignore the phenomenon. Sex on TV and porn on the Internet is pervasive, and seemingly unstoppable. If banning it is a lost cause and blocking it at home in most cases  ineffectual, then parents and Bible teachers have to gird their loins and talk about it. 

 Internet porn and the way sexual activity is depicted, on TV, can't be allowed to exist in a vacuum of silence; otherwise young people, on the cusp of sexual experience, might believe in its unrealistic depiction: that being sexually active is a must,  that all girls are Brazilian bikini-waxed nymphomaniacs; that good sex amounts to "harder, and  harder thrusting" that boys are devoid of  true love, tenderness, and commitment. etc.

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